What Happened
by EmeraldChick
Summary: Obi-Wan could tell by the way Anakin acted on Geonosis something was wrong with his Padawan. While Anakin is recovering from his fight with Count Dookoo, Obi-Wan goes to talk to Padme about What in the blazes happened on Tatooine? Rated T for mild language. Can be added onto if requested.
1. Chapter 1

What Happened

Obi-Wan could tell by the way Anakin acted on Geonosis something was wrong with his Padawan. While Anakin is recovering from his fight with Count Dookoo, Obi-Wan goes to talk to Padme about What in the blazes happened on Tatooine?

What Happened

"This is silly, stupid, and unnecessary," Obi-Wan thought as he rode through the traffic on Coruscant. All he had to do was to wait for Anakin to wake up. However the doctor said the Anakin will be unconscious for several hours and then placed into a Barca tank. Obi-Wan thought the suspense would kill him. Also, he should be knowledgeable before his padawan woke up. So here he was driving to Padme Amidala's apartments, to ask a question. _What in the blazes happened on Tatooine?_

Obi-Wan set the speeder down outside on the apartment and jumped out. He looked up to notice a golden protocol droid coming up to him.

"Hello Sir what can I do for you?" asked the protocol droid the droid asked upon approach.

Obi-Wan was confused on where Padme had gotten a protocol droid. He was about to ask when the droid answered, "My name is C-3PO, I am the protocol droid. My last master, Master Owen Lars, gave me to Master Anakin as a gift on Tatooine. However, it seems a Jedi can not own property so I was given to Mistress Padme. This was not done in front of Master Lars I can assure you, that would be improper…"

"Yes, I see" Obi-Wan answered, mainly to stop the droid from babbling on. "Well I am here to speak to Senator Amidala. Will you tell her Master Kenobi is here?"

"Yes of course I can," C-3P0 said, and he disappeared through the doorway. He came back a moment later with Padme behind him. She was wearing her purple Senator gown, with her hair done up. She looked exactly the same way she had when the Jedi were assigned to her, when all this started.

"Obi-Wan, it's good to see you again! How are you feeling? How is Anakin?" Padme asked in a rush of questions.

Obi-Wan nodded, "Hello Senator. Yes, Anakin is doing fine. The surgery went well and he is resting comfortably." He paused and thought how to best phrase what to say next. "However, there is something troubling me and I think you can help."

"Of course anything," Padme answered, and she motioned for him to have a seat on the couch.

Once they were both comfortable, Obi-Wan took a deep breath and tried to phrase his next words carefully. "Well," he started. " Anakin instructions were quite clear that he was to stay on Naboo until told otherwise. However, when I contacted him to give him my message to the Jedi Council, he was on Tatooine. Since you were caught together on Geonosis, I assume you were both on Tatooine and I was wondering why."

Then it was Padme's turn to to take a deep breath. Afterwards she started, "Well, he had every intention staying Naboo to protect me. However, he was having a difficult time sleeping because of some dreams. He down played them of course, but it was obvious something was wrong. When I asked him, he said he was afraid for his mother's life. I suggested that he go to her, and I would come with him so he did not break his mandate."

Obi-Wan nodded slowly, "And is Shmi alright?"

"No," Padme wispeared with tears in her eyes. "She was captured by Tusken Raiders. Anakin went to rescue her, but she had already been killed. He brought home her body, and we buried her. After the funeral, we learned you had been captured and came to rescue you. I don't think he could lose both of his parents in the same day."

Obi-Wan blinked tears from his eyes as he realized the depths of his Padawan's pain. It now made perfect sense why Anakin would risk Padme's life to save Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan suddenly remembered Anakin's confession that night in the club while they were looking for the assassin, _"You're the closest thing I have to a father."_

Obi-Wan swallowed the lump in his throat and blinked the tears out of his eyes. No wonder Anakin was not himself on Geonosis. Obi-Wan expected Anakin to try and rescue him, but he knew something was wrong when his padawan got into an argument with him when Padme fell out of the gunship. Also, it explained Anakins threat to Count Dookoo before the fight, _"Your going to pay for all the Jedi you killed today,"_ thenhis charge full speed at instead of waiting. If Anakin had just buried his mother a few hours before then he would still be emotional. You do not get over loosing someone like that in a few hours. " _Force,"_ Obi-Wan thought to himself, _"I'm not over burying Qui-Gon."_

Now he knew, but what could he do about it. Obviously, Anakin needed help, but he was not going to get it professionally. Right when Anakin's training started, Obi-Wan asked Master Yoda if they needed someone to talk to Anakin about processing slavery, being away from his mother, and Qui-Gon's death. But Anakin hated it, and after a month of making no progress Obi-Wan let it go.

Now what were they going to do. Anakin was even more closed off and prideful. Explaining his trauma to a doctor would be pulling teeth, and get them no where. Then Obi-Wan had an idea. One that would keep Anakin safe and protect his pride, if Senator Amidala would be willing to cooperate.

"Padme," Obi-Wan said. "There is something I need to ask you, and I hope it does not offend you."

Padme looked confused, but then she said, "Okay."

"I'm going to talk to Anakin about this, and I am going to be there for him in anyway I can. But that will not be enough, I know it. He is not like other Jedi who can release things into the force, but he holds on to his pain. Also, Anakin is a prideful man which means that he will not tell me that he is suffering. Like today, I have to be observant and figure out something is wrong.

"However, Anakin is close to you, closer than he is to anyone. He has cared about you since he met you. Before all this started I was worried that he was getting too close, however now I am grateful for your connection. If he is going to let anyone help him with his grief, it's going to be you. I would like for him to escort you back to Naboo. This time instead of him watching you, I would like you to watch him. If anything happens, he stops eating, starts lashing out, stops sleeping all together, or anything at all happens, please contact me immediately."

Obi-Wan watched Padme's face to see how she would process this information. Obi-Wan waited for the girl who had just been threatened to say no. She had just been through an ordeal herself, and maybe did not want to covertly babysit a Jedi. Obi-Wan realized that if she said no, Anakin would have to be taken off the assignment. There is just no way he could go through all that and not have someone there to support him.

However, Padme nodded, looking at Obi-Wan with the strictness of Senator Amidala. She realized what Obi-Wan was getting at, that Anakin was either going to deal with his grief or get worse. Obi-Wan saw her decided to be there for him. He hoped she would give Anakin space to grieve but also comfort and a gentle reminder that he was only human. Anakin thought he was invincible, however he had just saw the most important person in his world tortured and killed, of course he could snap."Yes, I will look out for him, and if anything is wrong I'll tell you," Padme promised. "Not just this assignment, but always."

Obi-Wan smiled, and stood up. "Thank you Padme. Now if you excuse me I have to get back to the Temple. Anakin will wake up soon."

Padme saw him out, and waved at him when he zoomed upwards into traffic. On his way back to the temple, Obi-Wan felt a rush of relief. _"Anakin will be alright. He will get over this."_ he thought. He was wrong.

d at Obi-Wan, "Of course. If there is anything I can't handle I will tell you immediately."

Obi-Wan nodded satisfied, "Thank you. Now I have to go," he stated while rising from his chair.

Padme saw him out to his speeder. Before he left, the Jedi turned to look back at the Senator. He still did not trust politicians, but he would trust this one, he decided, since she truly cared for Anakin. Obi-Wan got into his speeder and went back to his padawan knowing that somehow Anakin would be alright.


	2. Chapter 2

Aim: 1500 words

WC: 1299

The dream was a mess, as always. Anakin could not really see anything, just blackness. Then he saw everything at once. One by one they flashed quickly in his mind, changing right after he understood what they were.

He saw blood dripping down his mother's bruised face, her body going limp in his arms, the bodies of the Tusken Raiders broken and mangled on the ground under his blue blade, and finally, Padmé's face when he explained what happened. He focused on the last picture, and saw her mouth slightly ajar, eyes full of pity and horror, starring into his soul.

Anakin screamed at everything and jolted awake, sort of. He got half way up and slammed back against the bed. Panting, he looked around him, and felt utterly confused. He saw the sandy metallic walls of the Jedi temple, but he was in a room he had never been in before. There were machines with wires all around him, and an incessant beeping noise that was grating his nerves. He tried to move again to turn the alarm off, but again fell back on the bed, a little softer this time. Only then did he realize he was restrained.

Panic and vomit rose in his throat. _They knew!_ he thought. _Padmé told them everything. I'm a monster. There going to execute me. They should execute me!_ Overcome by fear and shame, a mangled cry filled with fear and shame arose from Anakin. Just then the door opened, and a figure ran into the room.

"Medic! Medic!" Obi-Wan cried. Then the Jedi Master whirled around to his Padawan searching for the source of the pain. A 21-B medical droid entered, coming to the aid of the Jedi.

"What happened?" asked the droid.

"I don't know," came Obi-Wan's reply. "He just started screaming. What wrong Anakin?"

By this time Anakin had calmed down a little bit from the nightmare. He looked up at Obi-Wan's agonized face, and realized that his master thought Anakin was hurt for some reason. Anakin took a shuddered breath and managed a weak smile, "I woke up in a strange place tied to a bed. I panicked. Sorry Master."

Obi-Wan's brow furrowed. "Your not in pain?" He asked, searching the younger man's face.

"No pain," Anakin reassured him.

Obi-Wan breathed a sigh of relief, and turned to the medical droid. "I think he is alright, but will you please check?"

"Yes, sir," replied the droid and it rode toward Anakin as Obi-Wan got out of the way. The droid pulled out a medical reader and scanned Anakin's face. The droid turned to Obi-Wan and stated mechanically, "There is a slightly elevated heart rate, possibly due to stress, but no physical ailment that has not already been treated."

"Wait! What have I been treated for?" Anakin demanded.

"Please don-" Obi-Wan started.

"You underwent a four hour operation to replace the hand lost in battle with a neuroprosthetic," replied the robot calmly.

Anakin raised his eyebrows trying to comprehend what the hell the droid was talking about. Then he remembered the fight with that slime ball Count Dooku, and he also remembered losing the fight. Slowly, he looked down at his right arm, expecting nothing to be there. He had an arm, it was just the arm of a droid. Fear and panic rolled over him like waves. With tears in his eyes, he looked at his master his mouth gaping like he was going to scream again.

Obi-Wan stared down at Anakin with sympathy, and recognized his Padawan's fear. Quickly, the Master moved to the bed to wrap his Padawan in a hug. Any other time Anakin would have protested, but with the nightmare fresh in his mind and finding out he was half droid, all Anakin Skywalker could do was cling to his master and sob.

"NO! NO! NO!" He screamed over and over again.

After a few minutes, although it seemed like hours, Anakin shaking wails started to become calmer and calmer. Eventually, Anakin's breathing slowed down and he was able to wipe his tears with his good hand. Obi-Wan stepped away to allow Anakin to compose himself. He watched as Anakin slowly wrapped his good arm around his legs and place his chin in between his knees.

Obi-Wan decided that Anakin looked bloody awful. Anakin's face was dripping in sweat, his eyes were bloodshot and puffy, his nose was dripping, and his bottom lip was quivering. The young Jedi was doing everything in his power to compose himself, and was failing miserably. Anakin had always looked and acted older than he was, even if he was doing something incredibly reckless and stupid. But now, curled up in his fetal position, Anakin looked more like a child than Obi-Wan had ever seen. _"What do I do?"_ Obi-Wan thought.

"Anakin," Obi-Wan started, then he paused, waiting for his Padawan to acknowledge him. When Anakin didn't, Obi-Wan sat down on the bed and reached out to the younger man. He reached out and grabbed Anakin's good hand and squeezed it a little. "Anakin can you hear me?"

"Yes Master," came the lifeless voice from the bed.

"Anakin, you're going to be alright," Obi-Wan promised. But it sounded hollow even to his own ears. _"How in the galaxy does a twenty year old recover from this?"_ He thought in his mind. Anakin was barely a man, and not a well self-controlled one at that. _"How do I protect him now?"_

He could not let doubt shake him right now. He would be strong like a rock for Anakin, because Anakin needed protection right now. He needed information, even more information than what Padmé gave him. Padmé could tell Obi-Wan what happened, but only Anakin would be able to articulate his feelings.

"Anakin, I went to see Senator Amidala. I have a couple of questions if you could talk about it."

Anakin righted himself, and a wave of calm washed over his face like a mask. Obi-Wan realized that Anakin was going to probably lie about everything so he wouldn't appear weak, but Obi-Wan had to try. "First of all, were all of your nightmares that horrific?"

"Yes," Anakin whispered.

"Why didn't you tell me? I know you told me the night we chased the assassin, but you down played it. Why?"

Anakin paused, like he was struggling with himself on how to respond. Finally he said, "I did not want it to be true. I wanted it to be just a bad dream. When you said 'Dreams pass in time' I wanted to believe you so bad. It was like if I acted like something would happen to her, then it really would happen. If I left it alone, she would be fine." Anakin paused for a minute, but then he whispered in a broken voice, "I guess I failed her."

If you could hear a heart break, Obi-Wan's would have bounced off the walls. Again he approached his Padawan, who had started to cry again, and hugged him tightly,. "Anakin you did nothing of the sort. You came to her aid like any good son. You had no way of knowing she was in danger, and you had Padme to protect. You had too much to do at once: be a good Jedi, protect Padme, and be a good son. And you were all three, Anakin. You did not fail her!"

Anakin's was sobbing loudly again, and trying to talk at the same time. O I-Wan had to strain to hear him, "S- she was ss-so hurt-t and I-I could not d-do anyth-thing. W-We are J-J-Jedi and I-I could not d-do anyth-thing."

Obi-Wan hugged him tightly. "Shh Shh," he whispered. "I know. I doubt this helps, but I felt just as helpless when I lost Qui-Gon."

"W-What-t-t Helped-ed?"

"Yoda."


	3. Chapter 3

One with the force

Anakin was terrified out of his mind. After a week of recuperating in the Halls of Healing, the medical droids said that he was well enough to return to duty. However, Anakin knew that Jedi duty was not what awaited him now. He was currently walking with Obi-Wan in the Jedi temple, not really knowing where they were going.

Obi-Wan took him to one of the quieter parts of the temple, and started to lead Anakin towards a joint meditation room. Anakin sighed when he realized what they were doing, he really did not want to meditate on the force. When the door to one of the larger meditation chambers slid open, and Anakin saw Master Yoda and Master Windu both seated diagonally across from each other sitting cross legged.

"Oh, sorry masters," Anakin said, stopping at the doorway. "We did not mean to disturb you," and he turned to the door to leave the Jedi Masters in peace. He and Obi-Wan could find another room.

"Disturbing, you are not," replied the little green master. "Waiting for you, we were."

Confused, Anakin walked into the room and stood beside his master. At Windu's gesture, Obi-Wan sat at the one across from Master Yoda and crossed his legs. Wordlessly, Anakin followed his example and sat across Master Windu.

Anakin fidgeted nervously. He felt uncomfortable meditating with these Jedi Masters. Obi-Wan was different, they had meditated together ever since Anakin had just started training. _"But why are Masters Yoda and Windu here?"_ He looked over to see if Obi-Wan knew what was going on. The Jedi smiled encouragingly at him, and Anakin's uncomfortableness grew.

"One day while both of you were on assignment," Windu started. "Qui-Gon's presence strong in the force. Yoda, Obi-Wan, and I all felt it"

Anakin's eyes widened. He had not expected this. _"What? How could Qui-Gon talk to Yoda? What could he want?"_

"Said the name of Skywalker, he did," Yoda stated as if it was an everyday occurrence.

"Me?" Anakin asked an octave above normal. "What could Qui-Gon possibly want with me?"

"In pain, were you" Yoda stated. "Wanted to help but could not, he did."

"Master, you heard Qui-Gon on Geonosis?" Anakin asked.

"No," replied Windu. "This was a day before the battle with the clones."

Anakin flinched. He knew what they were talking about now. The night before Geonosis his mom died, and he was busy slaughtering Tusken Raiders.

"Know to what we refer, do you?" Yoda commented.

Anakin felt a lump in his throat that the was too big to swallow. Judgement was coming for the Padawan, and he could not run or fight it. He had to sit there and take it like the Jedi he was.

"I-I did not hear Qui-Gon," he started. "But yeah. Some- Something happened that day. But, its not worth mentioning"

"Qui-Gon thought it was," Windu quipped.

"Anakin," Obi-Wan said, looking at him. "You're not in trouble. We just need to get this out in the open. Actually, we are all really concerned about you."

"But we talked about this yesterday Master," Anakin mumbled.

"Sort of. We only talked about your nightmares. Now we need to talk about what happened," Obi-Wan replied.

No one talked for a moment. Finally, Windu broke the silence "Skywalker, What happened?"

"My mother died," Anakin whispered. _"Jedi aren't supposed to know their moms, but I do. Am I a bad person for mourning? Padme said being angry was human, but it is not the Jedi way."_ But he did not hear judgement from the Jedi Masters.

"I'm so sorry, Skywalker," Windu replied.

"As am I," stated Obi-Wan.

"One with the force, she is. Comfort you, that should," Yoda offered.

It did not comfort him at all. In fact, it made Anakin mad that he was supposed to let his mom die, but he did not say that. Instead, he just looked at the ground. Tears started to come to his eyes, and he focused on just breathing evenly. The last thing he wanted was to have an emotional breakdown in front of three Jedi Knights, two of them Masters. Anakin took another deep breath, and focused on not showing any signs of anger. It obviously did not work, as he heard Master Yoda sigh.

"Anakin," Obi-Wan said. "You remember that I explained that Yoda was the one who helped me through Qui Gon's death? I think that he can help you too, that is why we are here."

"No one can help me!" Anakin yelled. "I did not lose a Master I lost a mother! That is beyond different and you will never understand!"

Furious, Anakin jumped to his feet, and ran out of the room, leaving three shocked Jedi in his wake. As he ran through the temple, he saw people staring at him. At this point, he did not care. All he could think about how Yoda said that he should feel comforted, and that he did not.

"Anakin," called Obi-Wan behind him. Anakin did not listen, but kept running out of the temple and down the steps.

"Anakin, stop! Please!" Obi-Wan begged.

Anakin kept running because he could not go back. He was acting like a child running away from home, but that is what he felt like, a young, lost child. Tears were running down his cheeks and he could not see straight. He ended up running into a woman, and it knocked him to the ground. Dazed, he staggered up and prepared to take off running again

"ANI!" cried Obi-Wan.

That made Anakin stop and turn around. He saw Obi-Wan a little ways off running to catch up with his padawan. In Obi-Wan's eyes there was fear and concern, but not judgement, for the younger Jedi. Anakin fought the urge to keep running and let Obi-Wan approach. His master was way too formal to call Anakin by a childhood nickname unless he was trying to be comforting. When Obi-Wan finally caught up to him, Anakin noticed that the older man was sweating just a little bit.

"Anakin, please. I just want to talk," Obi-Wan stated.

"They want me to FORGET my mother!" Anakin screamed at him, not caring that the people and aliens passing by thought he was crazy.

"Shh," Obi-Wan said, placing a hand on Anakin's shoulder. "That is not what Yoda meant at all. I promise. I thought the same thing when he told me about releasing Qui-Gon into to force. I remember I got so mad-" Obi-Wan glanced away for a second as if remembering something horrible, then his eyes returned.

"Releasing someone into the Force does not mean that you are happy they died. It does not even mean you will not miss them after they die. It simply means that they are not yours to hold onto, and that they are free to become at peace in death," Obi-Wan explained.

Anakin's fury diminished a little, but not enough for him to stop crying. He felt Obi-Wan take him by the hand and turn him back towards the Jedi temple. Slowly now, they walked through the streets of Coruscant. Anakin's breathing got a little bit lighter, and slowly he started to calm down.

Eventually, he asked a question that seemed obvious, but he needed the answer. "Master," he said. "Do you miss Qui-Gon?"

Obi-Wan closed his eyes and nodded. "Very much Anakin. Very much. But I realize that he is in a better place. A place where he knows ultimate peace, and it brings me hope that one day I too will share in this knowledge and be one with the force."

"I know that is supposed to make it better," Anakin mumbled, "but it doesn't. All I can think about was that she died because I failed to save her."

At that Obi-Wan grabbed his arm again, and looked him straight in the eye. "Anakin, you cannot blame yourself that people die. Or start living as if you are the one that is supposed to save them. It will make you sick. People die, and sometimes you can do nothing about it."

Obi-Wan released his arm, and they started walking again. "When Qui-Gon died, I played that game Anakin. I would replay it in my mind thinking that if only I would have been faster, stronger, or whatever, he would still be alive. Soon I started hating myself for letting him die. Yoda figured it out, and we had sessions, like the one you just had. I remember feeling so helpless at the beginning. But then I realized something that changed everything."

"What?" Anakin asked.

"Well, Yoda said that Qui-Gon was one with the Force. Up until then, I thought that was just a nice way of saying that people died. But then I realized that it was true. Every time I used the force, meditated, trained you, or anything, there was a part of Qui-Gon there with me. In reality, we never lose anyone if they are one with the Force and the Force is all around us. Your mother will never leave you Anakin, she is just with you in spirit instead of in person. That is what Yoda was trying to explain."

Anakin focused on walking, literally putting one foot in front of the other to make sure that he did not cry. _"Mom's not really gone, but now she is literally a part of me?"_ The thought did give him great comfort. He was still a failure for letting her die, and worse, letting her suffer, but the thought that she was only physically gone and not completely gone, helped a lot.

" _I miss you, Mom,"_ he thought as his master escorted him back to the Jedi Temple. _"But my promise still stands. I won't fail again."_


	4. Chapter 4

The Jedi Way

Palpatine's plush apartments can make many Jedi feel uncomfortable. This is because they have been taught since they were born that the way of the force strives for simplicity. A Jedi surrenders the comfortable things like thick carpet, ornate artwork, and deep couches. For one who grew up satisfied with the bare essentials, this much luxury made one feel unnatural. Anakin surveyed the apartment and did not find it alien, but homey and welcoming. The red carpet contrasted with the gray walls gave a sense of ease to the young Jedi. However, right now he was not focused on the decor.

When word was out that Anakin had recovered from the Battle of Geonosis, Chancellor Palpatine had sent for him. Obi-Wan of course was weary of Anakin going alone, but that was what Palpatine requested. So right now the young Jedi was sitting on a couch bending and flexing his new robotic hand, waiting for Palpatine.

Suddenly, the doors slid open, and Palpatine walked in talking to Mas Amedda.

"Thank you for that," said Palpatine. "Will you see to it, I have something urgent I must attend to."

"Of course, Chancellor" Mas Amedda said with a bow and walked out.

Hearing that the Chancellor was ready for him, Anakin got up and started walking towards the door.

The Chancellor smiled and said, "Anakin thank you for coming on such short notice."

"Thank you for having me, Chancellor" Anakin returned with a polite bow. "What can I do for you?"

"Come sit, please," said Palpatine waiving towards his desk. Anakin sat down in front and waited for Palpatine to go behind, but instead the Chancellor leaned against the desk and stared down at Anakin.

"Anakin, do you remember the first day that we met on Naboo? Do you remember what I said to you?"

Anakin nodded. "You said that you would watch my training."

"Well not really," corrected Palpatine. "You see I'm not at all interested in the Jedi ways, but I was very interested in you. One so young, already an accomplished pilot, and the chosen one. Think of it, you might be the key to winning the war before it started."

Anakin's heart dropped at the idea of being not only the Jedi's champion but now the Republic's as well. Here he was with one arm missing, desperately in love with a woman, and can't control his temper. He looked down and shuffled his feet.

"Anakin, what's wrong?" Palpatine asked, placing a hand on Anakin's shoulder.

"I'm not sure if I can win any war, sir" Anakin whispered.

"Oh, heavens no boy. I am not expecting that of you. That is what the clone army is for. No your right that is not what is to be expected of you. I am simply saying that when you are older, you will be one of the most powerful Jedi I have ever seen. You already have the potential."

"Well, I'm not sure," Anakin mumbled. "I don't really think that I am supposed to be a Jedi."

"What!" Palpatine pushed Anakin's chin up so that he could look the younger man in the eye. "Is this genuine doubt I am hearing from the boy who won a podrace at nine years old? You were by far the strongest in the force Qui-Gon has ever seen, that is why you were brought here, to be trained."

Anakin sighed, "I know but I have failed many times since then."

Perplexed, Palpatine cocked his head to one side. "In what ways have you failed, young one?"

"I disobeyed my mandate. I did not protect Pad-Senator Amidala, but brought her straight to Geonosis, where we got captured and almost executed," Anakin explained.

"Really, that is not what I heard. I was told it was Amidala that wanted to go to Geonosis and you bravely accompanied her after not being able to talk her out of it," Palpatine stated.

"Who told you that?" asked Anakin dejectedly.

"Padme" replied Palpatine.

"What?!" Anakin stared up at the chancellor wide eyed.

"Yes. I went to check on her wound from the Nexu while she was in the Senatorial Medical Unit." Palpatine explained. "She was very worried that you would be in some sort of trouble for not keeping her on Naboo and explained she literally piloted the plane to Geonosis."

"We did not go to Geonosis from Naboo, Sir." Anakin said darkly.

"Oh. Wait what? Did you go somewhere first then to Geonosis?"

"Yes," Anakin said ashamed. "We went to Tatooine."

"Ah, I see." Palpatine looked Anakin up and down assessing him before continuing on. "Seeing that is your homeworld, I can assume it was a personal matter. Would it bother you if I asked why?"

"I um-" Anakin paused and he felt tears welling up in his eyes. He swallowed hard so that he would not completely come undone in front of the Supreme Chancellor. "I- I wanted to see my mother. Just for a moment, to make sure she was okay."

Palpatine nodded, then looked into Anakin's eyes. To Anakin, it felt like someone was peering into his soul. "Something was wrong, my boy. That is why you needed to go home, right?"

"Yes," Anakin replied shakily. He blinked back some tears, ashamed of himself.

"Anakin, it's alright. I am your friend," Palpatine promised.

"She's dead," Anakin whispered and dropped his head in his hands.

Palpatine nodded. "I see. Anakin I am so sorry. I remembered when my own mother died how I felt. It was like there was no comforting me. Does anyone know? Did you tell Padme?"

"She was there when it happened," Anakin spoke through his now silent tears. "And she told Obi-Wan and he told Yoda and Windu."

"Oh. I wonder how much help a Jedi would be in this situation, considering none of them knew their mothers," stated Palpatine sadly.

"They have all lost people. Obi-Wan remembers how he felt when he lost Qui-Gon Jinn. But losing a master and losing a mother is not the same thing. At least I don't think it is."

"Its not. Trust me."

Anakin looked up at Palpatine, and wondered how he would know what losing a master would be like. But at this time he really couldn't care.

"They want me to release her into the force," Anakin whispered. "Obi-Wan says it is like releasing all of your grief and pain, saying you are not going to fight what happened."

"But that is not what it feels like is it?" Palpatine sympathized. "It is a beautiful sentiment. But it feels like you are saying it is okay that she died. That she suffered."

"Yeah. I can't do it," Anakin confessed.

"There is a process to grief Anakin that is normal, natural. One does not simply let death go. You want to fight it. Its okay, just not the Jedi way," Palpatine reasoned. "Perhaps," he added after a pause, "Perhaps you can let them think you are releasing her into the force, but you hold on for your own sake."

Anakin looked up at Palpatine in wonderment. "How could I do that?"

"Oh," cried Palpatine. "I'm not saying you directly lie to your superiors Anakin. No that would be unethical and just not do. I am saying that if we analyze that what is supposed to be gained from releasing your mother into the force is that you have some sense of peace. If you can find that peace without letting her go then that would accomplish what Obi-Wan wants, and you would still have the attachment to your mother. Let people think you are strong even when you do not feel that way. That is what I did when my parents died. I can teach you."

"If you are going to help me with that," Anakin started slowly. "Then you need to know something else as well."

"Alright. What is it?"

Anakin took a deep breath. "My mother was tortured by sand people," he said.

At that Palpatine's jaw drop, and the old man sat down beside Anakin. After he took a moment to recover himself, Palpatine pulled Anakin into a loving embrace. At first, Anakin was shocked by the Chancellor's compassion, but he gave into the hug. After a moment, Anakin pushed himself out and the Chancellor let him go.

"I needed that," Anakin admitted. "But that was not my point."

Palpatine righted himself, and looked Anakin in the eye ready to receive whatever could be worse. Anakin breathed again and said, "I killed them. The animals that hurt her. And I am not sorry. I will NEVER BE SORRY!" By the end he was standing up, and Palpatine had to motion him to sit down again.

"Anakin," Palpatine said calmly. "Take advice from an old man. Not a Jedi, but someone who has seen a lot. It is not the Jedi way to mourn your mother, or kill her capturers and not be remorseful. No it is not the Jedi way. But it is a natural way. You will always be first a man, and then a Jedi.

"Somethings can never be done the Jedi way."


End file.
